Kiss my pudgy white a**, Nike.

Okay, so I have not blogged in more than a year, but something has come up that makes me really need to vent. Next week I am going on a tennis trip with a bunch of other ladies. I had
intended by this point in the year to be about 20 lbs. slimmer, but circumstances (beer and laziness to be precise) have conspired against me. So, I am a bit pudgier than I would like to be which would not be a problem except for the fact that none of my cute tennis clothes fit.
So yesterday, I went to PGA Superstore to purchase some new ones with a gift card I received from a sociopath (a story for another day), but there is a problem with the way the clothes fit. First, although my weight tends to settle around my middle, my waist is not quite the circumference of a 24 lb Thanksgiving butterball. Thus, despite the relative petiteness of
my posterior, the skirt with the appropriate fit around the waist makes my butt look like I am wearing Booty Pop panties as seen on TV. The biggest problem is trying to fit my DDs into the tiny tennis tops. They either get smashed flat or squeeze out the arm holes. I can assure you, that neither is attractive.
So this is my question. Serena Williams, tennis goddess, has more booty and boobie than most, and Nike designs clothes for her, so why the heck can't I buy them? Seriously, she has more of everything than I do: top, bottom, muscle, money, fame, and game. Why can I not just buy a tennis top that fits my assets without gaping armholes or torture?
Glad I got that off my chest.